The ElePHPant is the adorable, elephantine mascot of the PHP project. You may have seen pictures of them (from Flickr) at the bottom of the php.net homepage. Beware of imitators. They are available in Pink and Blue.
Conferences and companies sometimes have custom Elephpants produced. A Field Guide to Elephpants - Detailing the attributes, habitats, and variations of the Elephpas hypertextus.
When you wield PHP, you wield an ancient power...Mug T-shirt
The best way to fix the PHP problem at this point is to make the alternatives so outstanding that the choice of the better hammer becomes obvious.
How's that working out Jeff?
None of the links are affiliated with PHPOpenDocs. I just like them.